What Are You Waiting For? The Joy of Anticipation

Sometimes life is exhausting. You will encounter illness, heartbreak, disappointment, etc. At those times when you are at your lowest, you need to remember that this is not a permanent condition. You are capable of change and things will get better. A good way to help yourself envision the better days ahead is to put something on your calendar. Schedule something that you will look forward to.

Last week my boyfriend and I were doing some demolition at our new waterfront home. With one enthusiastic swing of my sledgehammer, I injured my back. For several days now, I have had pain in my lower back that feels like I am being shocked with a taser whenever I move. So, I have been limiting my movement. This has been a long week and I’m frustrated that I can’t jump up and do the things I want to do. Last night, my boyfriend told me that he has booked us an anniversary trip to New York City next month. It is great to be able to anticipate a trip with someone I love and seeing a Broadway show. It is a reminder that my current condition will pass. And what if the date of our trip arrives and I still have back pain? Then I will take some pain killers and I will limit my movements. Or if we have to cancel the trip, we can push it back to another time. In the meantime, I have the joy of anticipation.

Best Possible Outcome coaching can help you anticipate the future. Knowing what you want in the future can help you feel better right now…today!

1. ANTICIPATION

Anticipation is excitement for things that will take place in the future. Research suggests that we get more of a happiness boost from experiences than things, so you may want to schedule lunch with a friend instead of choosing a day to buy the new iPhone. One of my clients was so excited about putting events on his schedule that he bought himself a monthly dry-erase calendar. If you don’t have any upcoming events on your calendar, you can create them. Search the internet to find activities that interest you, or schedule your own party for no reason at all. Whatever you choose to put on your calendar, maximize your anticipation by imagining specific details of the future event. Plan it out and do some research. Focusing on the event you are anticipating will reduce your frustration with your current circumstances.

2. THE POWER OF POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Anticipating the future event will bring you joy. Research has shown that experiencing positive emotions broadens your perspective and helps you see possibilities you miss when you are depressed. When you give yourself something to anticipate, you are able to see more opportunities for yourself and it will be easier to move beyond the place where you are stuck. Using my own injured back as an example, the pain in my back made me feel depressed and limited. When I changed my mood through anticipation, I was able to focus on what I CAN do instead of what I cannot do. Try this for yourself. Before brainstorming ways to change your current limiting situation, watch a funny movie, read some jokes on the internet, or simply hold a pencil in your teeth. OK, that last one is based on research that shows people who hold a pencil between their teeth to create a smile feel happier. Find something to anticipate and you will feel better.

3. GRATITUDE

If you are having trouble thinking about something you would like to do in the future, try looking at the past. Think about some things you have already experienced that have brought you joy. Do you have great memories of being at the beach? Then plan a trip to the beach. Create a list of things in your life that you are grateful for and think about how you can bring more of that into your life in the future. You can be grateful for experiences you have had in the past, you can be grateful for people and things that are currently in your life, and you can be grateful for things that will happen in the future. Research suggests that being grateful is incompatible with being unhappy. Take a few minutes to create a list of things that you are grateful for. You can use this list to plan something to anticipate. Simply creating the list will generate positive emotions and help you to consider options you may have missed before

If you’d like to put something on your calendar right now, I recommend a group session with Best Possible Outcome. These small group sessions provide brief positive psychology lessons and a chance to have motivational interaction with your peers. You can also schedule one-on-one sessions to help you clarify your life goals and improve your life. What are you waiting for?